Now, I realize upon writing this that I could actually just be inadvertently giving Mr. Jason Friedberg and Mr. Aaron Seltzer usable material (as far as they're concerned) for their next big comedy extravaganza... er, at least the next one after they're finished with their newest feature.
That's right, the minds behind what could be the worst comedies ever made are at it again. And I guess trying to point out to these two "filmmakers" that the disaster genre has actually already been spoofed almost thirty years ago (*cough* Airplane! *cough*) would be useless.
But how did it all ever get so wrong?
For all it's silliness, Scary Movie was still a pretty solid spoof film. It did what Friedberg/Seltzer have yet to pull off again: weaving all the clichés and gimmicks of classic and non-classic horror movies alike into an entertaining romp that actually almost seemed to care about the characters and story it was telling. But then I'm probably giving these guys a little too much credit. After all, they were only co-writers to that film and it wouldn't be too far-fetched to imagine that most of what they wrote more than likely wound up on the cutting-room floor.
Here's a little food for thought (and feel free to comment with your own opinions): everything that Friedberg/Seltzer and the Wayans Bros. have done since their respective runs with Scary Movie have all sucked. Every bit of it. Friedberg/Seltzer have had their turkeys, sure, but White Chicks? Little Man? Really? Perhaps it's time these guys all team up again and try to make something that it isn't pure, unfiltered crap? Hell, even something that borders mediocre could almost be redeeming for all of these guys. But probably not.
But it's not just Friedberg/Seltzer that should be criticized. Indeed, it is every person who has ever paid money to watch, buy, or rent one of their films that should receive blame for allowing more of their crap-fests to be made. Sure, I could see how one could be fooled into watching Date Movie, a film released, if I remember correctly, with a tag of something along the lines of: "From two of the writers of Scary Movie." Up until that point, the Scary Movie franchise was still somewhat respectable and no one really knew who these two guys were. And how could you really say 'no' to Alyson Hannigan (it's Willow for chrissake!)? But after that film, and the revelation of what bad "filmmakers" these guys are, anyone who went to see Epic Movie or Meet the Spartans should be punished and criticized just as much as Friedberg/Seltzer themselves. It's these people who allow the films to take in money and, moreover, allow the films to turn a profit, i.e., earning back more than what it cost to make and produce them. When this happens, and film execs. see that they can actually make money off of these two dudes, of course they're going to exploit it! I mean really, it's what they're supposed to do.
What really doesn't make sense is how these two guys still don't seem to receive their due in criticisms, and believe me these guys are on par with the likings of Uwe Boll IMO, but with less than half the criticism (and maybe less than that).
How do I know these guys aren't getting their due? Simple. Neither of them are aware of how badly most of the population thinks of them. At least Uwe Boll has come to understand how much video-game fans hate his guts but these guys just don't get it. And really, how could they? Sure, their movies always get panned by critics, but they always make money, too. Based on the films they've made, it can be inferred that they have a pretty simple logic and if they were to apply their borderline MR minds to whether a movie is good or bad, it'd probably go something like this: Movie Make Money = Movie Be Good.
Maybe one day Friedbarg/Seltzer will come across another Scary Movie-esque stroke of genius (if they ever did to begin with, of course) but until then, as an open request from myself to them (just in case they aren't aware):
You guys are not funny. You never were. The only thing you've ever contributed to the film industry are images of Carmen Electra in skimpy outfits (and unless you plan on directing her in porn one day, even that trick is now outdated). Your jokes aren't clever in any possible way, except by being on yourselves. Stop making crap -- you're a one-trick pony that really never had a real trick to begin with. If I wanted to be beaten over the head with non-amusing pop-culture references, I'd hang out at my old elementary school playground -- and that's saying something because that school is located in a very small, Bible-belt town in southern Georgia!
I haven't even seen this movie and can tell you what the best part is!But, if you do see fit to continue on your pale horse through the film industry, destroying everything that was ever good about spoofs, comedy, and entertainment in general, then perhaps I can help out with a few titles for potential future films:
Sports Movie
Western Movie
Action Movie
Documentary, the Movie
Meet the Epic Date Movie
Religious Movie
Sci-Fi Movie
3D Animation Movie (or Pixar Movie, pending copyright)
Film Movie
And, of course, Spoof Movie.
You're welcome.
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